Tipping the balance
“We loved our home. It’s where we built our life together,” Mike reflects. “Leaving didn’t feel right. But there were things we just hadn’t been ready to admit.”
Pat, meanwhile, had her own struggles but kept them to herself, thinking she’d manage, just as she always had.
But one of their daughters – Tracey – began to notice signs that worried her. The upkeep of the house, always a source of great pride, was becoming more of a burden and watching her parents ‘make do’ was becoming harder each visit.
“I didn’t want to push them,” Tracey explains, “but I wanted them to have a life that felt easier, where they could really enjoy themselves without all the worry. It was hard to bring up,” she continued, “I could see they were trying to manage, but another winter of worrying about them on their own didn’t feel fair on them or us.”
When Tracey finally brought it up, Pat and Mike were hesitant. “Tracey sat us down after dinner,” Mike recalls. “She told us how much she worried. She was gentle, but we could feel her concern.” For Pat and Mike, their daughter’s concerns echoed their own worries they’d been pushing aside. It was the tipping point. “I had been feeling less secure,” Mike admits. “Health issues had come up, and Pat was still recovering from surgery. But itwasn’t until Pat had that fall that I felt the balance tip. I thought, ‘This can’t go on like this, just the two of us muddling through."
“We started thinking about how it would be nice to live somewhere where help was close by.”
A new perspective on independence
Of course, such decisions don’t immediately happen overnight. Like many, Pat and Mike felt a deep attachment to their home and independence. “You think, ‘This is my space; I’ll stay here forever,’” Mike explains. “But as we thought about it, the idea of living somewhere that would give us a bit of a hand started to make more sense.”
“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Mike reflects. “After all those years, you think you’ll never leave, and then you realise maybe there’s more to life than struggling on your own.”
For Pat, the move felt like a gift to their daughters, lifting the weight of constant worry. “Tracey doesn’t have to sit there wondering if we’re okay anymore,” she says. “It’s peace of mind for her, and for us.”
Finding a new rhythm
Once settled into community life at Birchgrove, Pat and Mike discovered a newfound sense of ease. Mike appreciates having others around. “The staff here…they’re more than just people doing a job,” Mike says warmly. “They care about us. They’re part of our lives now.” They genuinely care, and that’s a comfort you can’t put a price on.”
Pat, now free from the heavy lifting and upkeep a large house demands. “It’s like a weight has lifted. She says reflecting on their new life.
Community life has opened up new opportunities and time to pursue her own interests and love of gardening. She spends time in the greenhouse, nurturing plants and enjoying the familiarity of gardening. “There’s something so reassuring about it,” she says. “The plants don’t change; they grow and thrive, and I get to be part of that.” For both of them, life has taken on a new rhythm. The sense of security allows them to better enjoy their days rather than worrying about the ‘what ifs.’
